When you consider “rock ‘ n’ roll” was a sexual synonym before it was a musical genre, it shouldn’t surprise you that bands like the Red Hot Chili Peppers are streaking up the music industry charts, selling loads of records and turning lots more people on to their breed of funk-humping, fuel-hungry sex music.
Having written, performed and recorded songs like “I Want to Party on Your Pussy” and “Blow Job Park” (the latter about Vietnam), only to have their first label, EMI, list them on the liner notes as “Special Secret Song Inside” and “Battle Ship,” was quite frustrating to this randy band. To their great relief, the quartet’s first Warner Bros. release, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, which prominently displayed the titles “Suck My Kiss” and “Sir Psycho Sexy,” has earned the band a multi-gold record and its first official parental warning sticker.
In a very chilly Toronto, with two days of sold-out concerts ahead of them, the Red Hot Chili Peppers talked—over a couple of dinners at the elegant King Edward Hotel—about some of the ingredients that have kept this band so hot. I can only speculate that it was my affiliation with PLAYGIRL that kept the talk hot, too. As it turned out, bassman Flea, front man Anthony Kiedis and drummer Chad Smith were as eager to discuss the most intimate aspects of their private lives as a bunch of Kinsey sexy-survey respondents. Unfortunately, guitarist John Frusciante begged off to go and do with his girlfriend what we would only talk about.
“I don’t actually remember my first awareness of sex,” says Anthony softly, “but I do remember an encounter when I was nine years old and heard my mother’s boyfriend making love to her and it sounded very strange. There were a lot of noises that sounded like borderline violence to me. At first, I wasn’t sure if this man was hurting my mother, but instinctively I knew she was deriving great pleasure, even if it did sound like she was getting tortured. But I did a crazy thing. I sent my little sister to check if everything was OK and she busted in on them.”
Flea’s little-boy-blue eyes spark, as his customary quicksilver smile flashes across his face. “I was walking down the street with a friend of mine who was going to summer camp and I asked him what he was going to do there… I was around six—he was a bit older—but he feigned the attitude of an older kid and said, ‘There’s nothing to do there but fuck all the time.’ And I said, ‘What do you mean?’ He said, ‘You know, make babies.’ I still didn’t know what he was talking about, so he explained, ‘People fuck and they make babies. But you’ve got to get it in the right hole because if you get it in the wrong hole, you’re really going to be in trouble. See, there’s three holes down there: the pee hole; the pussy hole; and the butt hole.’ So, for years I was scared that I would one day do it and get it in the wrong hole. I thought it would be like you go two holes down to the right, make a left, pass that hole and maybe you’ll get it in the right one,” Flea concludes with a giggle.
Since Flea is a father, one can justifiably assume that he finally did get the hang of that “fucking thing.” For Chad and Anthony, however, memories of their first consummation are still as vivid—and intense—as the fateful day the defrockings occurred….
“Oh, yes,” Chad jumps in fervently. “I was in eighth grade and I was going steady with this girl named Jackie. She lived three miles away and I used to run to her house with a hard-on… knowing what I was going to do when I got there. At first, we would just kiss and touch and then we started talking about doing it.”
“So on the night we agreed, I remember I had to climb over her roof and tiptoe past her parents’ window and sneak into her room. I can remember her opening her window… the smell of her room… the smell of her sleep….” Chad pauses; his long muscular body bends back in his chair as, sleepy-eyed, he lets out a small groan. “It was incredible. So, we did that a few more times until her dad caught me hiding in her closet.”
“I had a very active libido at a very early age,” Anthony interjects. “I remember having a discussion with a friend about how I would spend an hour with a woman. I figured I would have ten minutes to spend with the breasts, and ten minutes to do this and so on.”
“I also lost my virginity at a very young age. I was just able to function on an adult biological level; my pubic hairs were still growing in straight. I was at a club with my father and his girlfriend, and I wrote a note on a little dolly: ‘Dad, I think I would like to make love to your girlfriend tonight.’”
Red Hot Chili Peppers.
“Now my dad was this wild Hollywood outlaw/playboy/gangster kind of guy of the Sunset Strip, and he wrote back, ‘I think we can arrange that.'”
Anthony leans over, his shiny, sandy-brown hair falls over his face and his voice drops to a whisper, “So that night he let me have his girlfriend. She was so completely beautiful and luscious with this elegant, translucent, alabaster pale white skin and big beautiful pink nipples. The whole thing was a completely surrealistic trip for me because I felt like I was about a foot tall and this woman was about twenty-eight feet tall. I can remember curling up in her underarms and behind her legs for what seemed like four lifetimes but what was probably really only three minutes,” he concludes sheepishly, sucking a piece of spaghetti through puckered lips.
Known for being lyrically provocative, the Peppers wrote a song about every man’s fantasy: “Catholic School Girls Rule.” The muscular lead singer thinks for a minute, trying to recall the song’s inspiration. “I had a specific encounter with a Catholic school girl that was the basis of that song. The philosophy that you’re not really supposed to live this life before you die is what the lyrics of this song are about. These little girls are told over and over again that they’re not supposed to enjoy sex, they’re not supposed to have sex. That sex is bad. So, these Catholic school girls go out and do it twice as much and get twice as nasty.” Since talking about sex has obviously warmed up the red-hot trio, it’s time to get even hotter. Do they like to talk during sex?
“I don’t say much,” Flea says with a giggle. “If someone is talking dirty to me or instructing me—I mean, sure, I like that. But I’ve always liked a girl who has spunk and who’ll say things.”
“It’s not like certain words get me excited,” says Chad, carefully spreading butter across a bun, “it’s more like the tone of voice. If a girl has something that she really likes and she says something like, ‘Fuck me harder,’ or ‘Get me from behind,’ just the way she would say it would turn me on.”
Anthony responds thoughtfully. “It’s different on every occasion. Sometimes, the nastiest type of talk during sex can be great. But I’m more of a listener than a talker, probably out of my own shyness.” Sensing we’ve moved on to the main course, I suddenly realize these guys possess all the expertise necessary to shed some light on the ancient question, Which is better—sex or a blow-job?
Chad runs his fingers across his chin. “Hmmmm… let me see. Blow-jobs vs. fucking… an age-old rivalry.”
“Being in a band, you hear some guys thinking, not me personally, of course, that a blow-job is not cheating on your girlfriend—that it’s just one step up from jacking-off. But it’s a very sexual, sensual thing if you’re with your partner, someone you love. It shouldn’t really be looked upon like it is in a porno mag where the guy comes in the girl’s face. But when I’m with someone I really care about, it’s definitely fucking over a blow-job, hands down… no pun intended.
“But,” he continues, “sucking cock is more detached. Kissing is really more of an emotional thing. You’re right in someone’s face and you have to look them in the face and you’re going to kiss their face and your mouth is on their mouth and your tongue is in their mouth… Kissing is a very big part of the sexual experience but there’s still something to be said about a blow-job!”
Says Anthony, “I would say they are a very nice combination platter. If I haven’t come for a week or so, it’s really nice to start off getting head. Then your first orgasm can be seen, felt and experienced orally and you can get down to fucking. One is never better than the other because they’re just so great together.” “Then, too,” adds Chad, “in the all-encompassing act of making love, oral sex on both sides is wonderfully stimulating—so that’s not to be ignored either. But I don’t know if the majority of women like to suck dick that much. I don’t think they understand why we like it so much and it often feels like they’re doing it as part of a job or something. A lot of people just get down there and want to get it over with, so they do it too fast.”
Does Chad have any advice? “Sure do. There could be more tongue use; focusing on the head with the tongue and lips is wonderful as long as her hands aren’t in her pockets. Hands are very important… stroking and fondling the scrotum and the taint and maybe slipping a little pinkie in the butt hole. Nothing wrong with that stuff, it’s part of the whole fuckin’ show. I have to say that teeth are a bummer, but that usually happens if she’s not opening her mouth wide enough. But a little nibbling on the head and things like that… if the teeth are used right, it’s rockin’,” Chad lets out with a laugh…
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