For many folx, sexual expression is a revolutionary act, especially since it goes against much of what has been taught to us about love, sex, intimacy, pleasure. This creates an environment where to be true to ourselves, we must go against the truths we are taught. Whatever that looks like – exploring a fluid sexual identity, experimenting with kink, opening up to non-monogamy, or simply changing up the routine, starting your own sexual revolution includes following your heart’s desires and learning about yourself so you can be the boss of your body. It includes having compassion for yourself and curiosity for the process.
To be revolutionary when it comes to sex is to ask yourself: What do I genuinely enjoy? What societal scripts have I unconsciously followed?
Ready to revolt? Here’s some tips to start your sexual revolution:
Uncover your own erotic blueprint. Whatever it is that turns you on, be the person that charts your own course. Once you map out your desires, you can speak to them without shame, and create a space where your partners feel safe to do the same. To begin, it’s important to understand what types of things turn you on. If you are seeking guidance, you can discover your core erotic blueprints and see if the path to pleasure involves more energy, sensuality, sex or kink (or maybe all of the above).
Communicate with your comrades. Most people settle for mediocre sex because they fear communication. We may feel selfish, imperfect, abnormal, or unwarranted in our needs, but when we speak from the heart, vulnerability can be a turn on. Use “I” statements to manifest your desires – talk about your needs, wants, and what feels good. The more often you check in with your organs (brain, heart and groin), the more honestly you can communicate your partner.
Be a Leader. Organize an expedition for sexual adventure. If you’re game, take charge, dominate your partner, or top from the bottom. Engage in a game of consensual sexual conquest, and be selfish by focusing on what turns you on (this may turn your partner on in the process). Lead your partner by directing them to your hot spots. If you’re willing to push past your own boundaries, your partner will follow. Confidence and openness are contagious.
Mind the Present. When sex becomes a performance, we aren’t truly connected with our bodies or our partners. True sexual revolutionaries understand that staying present and noticing the sensations that provide pleasure can unlock even more opportunity for the erotic. When we stay engaged with our partners as each moment unfolds, every touch, breath, and moment can take on new and exciting meaning. Tune into sensations, emotions, and energy rather than rushing toward an end goal. In doing so, you transform sex from an act into an experience.
Ultimately, revolutionary sex does not conform—it evolves. It can be a fluid expression of desire, power, vulnerability and connection. At its core, revolutionary sex is about freedom—the freedom to explore, to connect, and to redefine pleasure on your own terms. Viva la sexual revolution!
