People will be having sex with robots on the regular by 2025, according to a 2014 CNET article citing a study that must have felt so futuristic at the time. While we’ve made many advances, having humanoid lovers hasn’t been achieved by the masses just yet. Is robotic sex what humans want? I conducted a poll on social media asking if sex with an AI robot sounded enticing and only a small portion of folks even dared to answer — most said no.
In opposition to my crude survey’s findings, futurologist Ian Pearson predicts that women will prefer having sex with robots, with some even falling in love with them in the near future. Preferring robotic parts (as in vibrators) — yes. Falling in love with humanoids — sounds far fetched. I’ve no doubt our sex lives are on the precipice of change with the advancements of artificial intelligence, but love? Real love with a non-human?
We saw it happen in the movies Her, Lars and the Real Girl, and Blade Runner. A love bot is also in Companion, a campy new horror flick about a rogue “fuck bot” named Iris (played by Sophie Thatcher).
I spoke to relational trauma therapist and educator, Rebecca Wong, LCSW, of Connectfulness, for insight on how much intimacy can really be fostered with AI.
“Intimacy between humans includes so many overlapping and different elements of connection: reflection, companionship and felt sense physiological synchronization, including heartbeats, breath, and the emotional impact/influence we have on one another,” Wong shared.
Many of us have issues with true intimacy, that letting go, and the ability to truly open up to someone else. A lot of it stems from trauma from real humans, making robots seem safer. Wong elaborated, “Being deeply intimate with another human also requires navigating messy moments and disappointments, taking risks, being vulnerable, and reciprocity. It’s some of this navigation that humans find hard, especially when they don’t have solid references for how to navigate necessary discord and discomfort. And yet, it doesn’t seem humans can achieve love without these messy moments.”
Playgirl • March 2025.
Technology could make bots have compassion and empathy, and in turn help humans feel seen and safe. But a bot can only go so far.
AI is advancing at an impressive pace, which means our lifelike bot partners could learn our sensual preferences, which may feel amazing for the short term but lack long term substance. “Human/bot relationships could both fill gaps in human loneliness and also, over the long term, contribute to loneliness,” noted Wong. Over time, the lack of many key components of human intimacy will be noticed. “While bots may be skillful at the mechanics and pattern recognition of love making,” she added, “there’s a missing element of mutuality and reciprocity, and the felt sense of skin-to-skin contact.”
Creators of humanoids are working to re-create the felt sense, and as it turns out, plastic can feel perfect. The now-defunct Los Angeles company Sinthetiks once made silicone representations of people with prices hovering around $10,000. Back in 2016, Karley Sciortino of Slutever and sexpert for VICE experienced a custom-made sex doll and raved about how real her fake lover’s body parts felt. On intimacy with a doll, Sciortino said, “It feels absolutely indistinguishable from a real person except that I’m completely in control.”
Irontech Doll out of China makes multi-gendered playthings in your choice of silicone or TPE, which is a soft rubber. In male form, there are 35 offerings — one looks like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, but many are baby-faced boy band types each with their own moniker. You can choose Kevin, William, or James for around $2,000. Most impressive is the Pulse Throb Essential, a silicone vibrating dildo add-on with seven settings that promises to “take your doll play and vaginal orgasms, anal orgasms, nipple orgasms and emotional orgasms – ALL your orgasms – to a hole [sic] new level.” The company also makes hundreds of female doll offerings — with a variety of choices that include anime, pregnant, and MILF. (The MILF dolls are just like the others with the subliminal context they have children.)
Neither of these companies have made AI sex robots.
Enter Realbotix, a company creating lifelike human replacements so living breathing people can find true connection for upwards of $175,000.
The company’s CEO Andrew Kiguel told Forbes that his AI sex robots will help the “loneliness epidemic” and act as a real romantic partner equipped with a memory. I should be celebrating this but a part of me feels sad, because as Wong pointed out, it may only be a short term fix.
Will Jackson is the CEO of Engineered Arts (EA), state-of-the-art makers of Ameca, a humanoid created for the workplace, museums, and theme parks. The highly advanced bots at EA are not designed for salacious purposes. Could they be? I asked him. Jackson said no. “My personal belief is that intimacy in the spiritual sense is currently not possible with a machine,” he shared.
I agree. Connection is primal, instinctual, distinctly human. Nothing can replicate it and if anything, tech devices remove us from reality. Jackson added, “Modern technology is certainly disconnecting people from each other in a way that leaves many craving for a connection that is becoming increasingly difficult to find.”
There are ways tech brings us closer, but without the added human element, it suffers. A long distance relationship might be able to survive short term thanks to Skype, but there will come a point where there’s too much yearning for real physical touch. A bot might help a person achieve orgasm efficiently, but it’s not going to go with you on a romantic dinner without feeling the missing human connection.
Tech has also driven people apart. Too often we get so consumed with the media in our devices that we neglect the living, ourselves included. We can get lost in the virtual world, ignoring our partners sitting right beside us.
There are other dangers, Wong points out. “[There are] profound ethical considerations of human/bot relationships such as who/how the bot is programmed and how this programming might be used as a tool to manipulate humans,” she shared.
We can’t put a beating heart in, but when we have a human brain programming a non-human body, it can end up taking on very human qualities with very real consequences — good and bad.
I don’t want to believe that anyone will prefer sex robots over real people. Real sex is just too good. A lover’s touch is far too delicious. But our world feels off lately, reality doesn’t even feel real, and patriarchal views are a buzzkill in the bedroom. A sex-positive, attentive lover robot could be a healthy substitute, just as vibrators have. Kiguel is right in this instance — maybe robots are a cure of sorts.
While the market is niche, there are still nowhere near as many male presenting options as there are female. Equality continues to be an issue when it comes to sex, expression, agency, and health. Much of the focus and money has gone toward making female-presenting bots in every shape, size, and look. Is this another example of how society caters to men’s desires ignoring women’s needs? Or are our sexual cravings vastly different?
I believe it’s a mix of the two. Humans do have distinct sexual proclivities regardless of how we define ourselves. And the sad fact remains: Too often a man’s desires (in every sense) come first.
Artificial sweetener is still sweet just as artificial intelligence is intelligent — its potential shouldn’t be underestimated. There is a bit of trickery involved, letting the mind lean into the humanness of a robot, erasing the tech of it and replacing it with imaginative play — very healthy for humans.
Perhaps what piques the interest most about having sex with robots is the ability to program an AI being to pleasure you exactly how you need. And that reveals the issue — the question. Why wouldn’t a woman feel that same sense of empowerment and the safety to express to her partner exactly how she needs to be pleasured to achieve orgasm?
There are many whys. There’s a discrepancy known widely — that men are more likely than women to share exactly what they like in the bedroom. Maybe it’s because a man’s pleasure points are more simply found, while for women the way to orgasm can be complex, intricate, and involves dedication. Maybe some are more concerned with a man’s potentially hurt ego than their own satisfaction. Far too often a woman’s sexual needs are not put at the forefront. And, far too often, women aren’t vocal about what they want and need.
There’s nothing artificial about using our voice to express our sexual desires. Maybe AI can help more women find their voice simply by expanding our imaginations into how we’d program a bot. If these thoughts make it to human/human relationships, where we own our fantasies and needs and share them out loud, it may be the sexual revolution needed to deepen real connections. We can hope.
