Sex toys have become increasingly mainstream – endorsed by celebrities and sex-positive influencers, and enjoyed by individuals, couples, throuples and other configurations of human sexual relationships. They play a part in enhancing pleasure and supporting sexual health. Sure, sex toys can threaten insecure relationships, and stir up feelings of jealousy and inferiority in certain situations, but if that’s the case, that may be more about reevaluating your relationship choices than waging a war against a gadget that’s only there to help.
For those of you looking for a fresh take on sex (and feeling secure in your relationships) take your pick – there’s vibrators, dildos and butt plugs galore! Paddles, cock rings, and cuffs, plus some more! There are lots of reasons to love sex toys. For instance, they provide a safer way to experiment with different forms of stimulation, kink, or fantasy. Plus, they can help you feel more connected to yourself and your partners, and can be indispensable for people with erectile dysfunction, physical limitations or mobility issues. Toys can promote self-exploration, boost body confidence, make pleasure and orgasms accessible, foster more intimacy, spice up your relationship, and help in the healing of sexual trauma. They also offer stimulation that may be difficult to achieve manually or during intercourse. And despite the stigma that still lingers in some circles, research shows that owning, and using, sex toys is associated with higher sexual relationship and life satisfaction.
While price and circumference predict the popularity of certain toys, just like in friendship, choose quality over quantity . Safety should always come first (that means no vegetables, vacuums or kitchen appliances). However, it’s also important to acknowledge that safer sex toys come at a premium, and for marginalized communities this can create problems to access and safety. Still, not all toys are created equal, so best case scenario is to use non-porous, phthalate-free, body-safe options like silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass—and steer clear of anything porous or labeled ‘for novelty use only.’ While these toys may be amusing to swing around at a bachelorette party, they are not necessarily safe to slide on.
Sex toys are mostly legal across the globe, but there are some countries where you do not want to dangle your dildo. There are even a few states that have archaic laws that are most definitely a buzz kill. The most well-known is Alabama’s Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act, but there’s also the latest bill yet to be passed in Texas on age verification for the online sale of “obscene devices.” The problem is that these laws treat sex toys as moral threats, not pathways to pleasure. And regulating these products speaks volumes about some deep-rooted ideas about gender, sexuality, and control.
Ultimately, sex toys aren’t just about getting off—they’re about tuning in, connection and feeling into pleasure. Whether you’re vibing alone or rocking down to Electric Avenue, it’s okay not to share your toys (or put a condom on them if you do!) Just remember safety first, lube is your friend, and if it belongs in a salad, toss it from your body.
