When Bradley Cooper debuted a new beard style, folks began to wonder why a portion of his scruffy facial hair was missing. The curious look was shaped like an oval, missing the chin patch. Cooper is the kind of guy that looks good no matter what, but this time was questionable.
Beards can make or break a man … when it comes to looks. But not every man. It depends. The factors of why are complex — a mix of preference with a healthy dose of desire and hormones — testosterone, specifically. Kevin Clarke’s Beards: An Unshaved History delved into how men — no matter age, race, ideology, or sexual orientation — count beards as their number one accessory. Clarke explored the question: What makes a man a man?
Let’s look at biology. Both those born male and female have testosterone, though the levels vary and can change throughout a person’s life. Testosterone is the “male hormone” or androgen, an Ancient Greek word meaning “man maker.” These hormones bring out the characteristics we see as masculine. The more “man maker” present, the more likely a person can grow a beard.
What better place to satiate all the hormones than the offerings of Playgirl, where we’ve been sharing bearded accessories since our inception.
Playgirl’s very first Centerfold Lyle Waggoner had his gorgeous face clean shaven, but he made up for it with a sweet shag carpet almost everywhere else. Facial hair graced our pages in pictorials each month. Men in the early 70s loved their bushy mustaches — it wasn’t only 70s adult film stars rocking a pornstache. Centerfolds Al Cavuoto and Glen Randall gave an amazing ‘stache (among other things) in ‘75. Brian Dawson had us fantasizing over his full beard in 1978.
Trends slightly shifted in the 80s, but the shaved chest types still sported a bit of gruff on their jawlines. Playgirl kept hairy love alive, boasting boys with fancy mustaches and wild bush. Gratuitous facial hair was seen on models Ron Ortiz, Mike O’Grady, Daniel Egger, and Steve Rally. There was something for everyone in the first 10 years of Playgirl, featuring almost as many men with facial hair as men without. This “man’s favorite accessory” trend has carried on through the years thanks to the proclivities of our varied-taste readers.
Which takes us to now. I’m a hair loving person and the smell of certain aftershaves conjure thoughts of creepy uncles. Stubble might look cute, but it does not feel good. Give me hairy faces, please. Curious of what others thought, I asked the people in my circle about it. Folks had strong opinions.
“I cannot stand a beard,” Amy declared. “That said, my husband has one and it’s fine. When I see those guys around my town with those aggressively Victorian proboscis-beards, I want to curl up and cry.”
“All I think when I look at these long beards is how dirty they are, filled with food and germs,” Brandi said. LuAnn agreed adding that she doesn’t want to “smell or taste what the man had for lunch.” Brenda said, “[his beard] must smell nice.”
Jen gets a pink itchy rash from beards. Stacy said that stubbles burn her tender lips. And Karali likes passionate kisses with no obstructions, the feeling of skin.
When I asked my mom, she said that close-shaved beards are the best. Like my dad’s. And David Beckham.
Jennifer does like a mustache. No scraggly beards for Tina. Sidney is into a neatly trimmed beard and the feel of a clean shave. Marj does, too — and she’s not a fan of a beard tickling her face or other parts. As long as it’s not ZZ Top long, George is into beards and goatees. The turn-off for Cynthia is the pornstache and stubble.
Stephanie prefers a well groomed beard and not only for visual stimulation. “I like how it feels on my skin,” she said. “Also, it makes ‘other activities’ more fun.”
Christie prefers it on masculine folks. Angela fancies a 5 o’clock shadow, and Shamsi said anything goes. Laurie has the best of both worlds. “My guy is clean shaven in the summer and bearded in the winter,” she shared.
Enter our pogonophiles (the lovers or studiers of beards) Erin and Lori — the most enthusiastic of the bunch. “HAIR!” Erin said. “The more the better.”
Lori said that men with beards look smarter, more virile and manly. “They are alpha males and that’s hot. I’m fascinated how the beard is a totally different color than the hair on their heads, too. For me it’s a psychological thing. I feel safer with a man with a beard.”
The love (or distaste) of hairy faces can be strong.
Sharon wondered if there was a connection to thick beard abilities and higher sperm count. There is, indeed. Facial hair exudes masculine energy because it signals well-functioning testosterone, which is responsible for the production of sperm. Having Low T decreases sperm count. Our instincts may help us sniff out men with the most manly hormones.
Delving into what men want is the 2023 study on beards by Jach, Moroń, and Jonason, detailed in the article Men’s Facial Hair Preferences Reflect Facial Hair Impression Management Functions Across Contexts and Men Know It. They found that 33.99% of men wanted to be clean shaven with 33.2% preferring heavy stubble. A formidable 17.68% fancied a heavy beard, with 15.13% partial to light stubble.
These inclinations of men coincide with the notions of more than half the population that beards make a man more attractive, physically stronger, able to leap tall buildings, and help make all the babies. It does all sound a bit Neanderthal — primitive and visceral. Subliminal or not, men feel more manly sporting a sweater on their face and many women want to wear that sweater. It’s not really a debate — aside from the penis, it is a beard that makes a man.
