Imagine this: your casual hookups, formal courtship and marriage proposal, all televised in front of millions. For you and me the stress, the anxiety, and the invasion of privacy are unimaginable. But for three young professionals from Minneapolis, it’s reality.
They are known to TV fans simply as Lauren and Dave. And of course, Dan.
Together, they gave us one of the juiciest storylines on the current season of Love Is Blind, the wildly popular Netflix show which follows couples on a quest for marriage. For ten days, they get to date through a veiled wall, forced to connect outside of physical attraction. At the end, a man proposes marriage, ushering the couple to the next phases of the show: a vacation where each couple can get intimate; a new apartment, where they live together and finally a wedding, where the couple decides if they say “I Do” or “I Don’t.”
For Lauren O’Brien and Dave Bettenberg, everything was going just fine, until the bride-to-be’s ex came up. What Lauren viewed as a casual fling that allegedly ended before the show started should have been a non-issue. For Dave, who discovered he knew the man, this fling was much deeper and too recent. Not surprisingly, he chose not to make it to the altar. His decision not only left unanswered questions for Lauren, it left unanswered questions for the viewers! They have taken to forums and blogs to discuss the many issues Lauren and Dave’s relationship raised: slut shaming, double standards in dating, the freedom of modern women to engage in casual sex without judgement.
And the elephant in the room: who is Lauren’s ex?
The internet quickly doxed him as Dan Nides, a Minneapolis native and corporate lawyer, with a passion for health, fitness, and Lauren! Because we never see him on air during the season, everything about him was a mystery. His face, his relationship – or lack thereof – with the bride, his friendship – or lack thereof – with the groom, and his intentions – or lack thereof – to “blow up” their wedding were all under discussion. It’s no wonder that when the internet got a hold of Dan’s Instagram page, complete with his own mock Love is Blind flyer, the comments were scathing. Nides has never publicly responded or addressed this.
But that changes now.
For the first time, he sits down to give an exclusive interview to Playgirl on his side of the story. From the start of his romance with Lauren to the impact on his life: a reality tv star, who has never even appeared on television, tells it all!
PG: Let’s go back to life before Lauren. As a single in Minneapolis what was dating like?
Dan: If you go out, you’re going to see the same people. There’s, I’d say, less than five fun bars in downtown Minneapolis. Then a dozen really nice restaurants. You just see the same people, so dating wasn’t hard. But it also wasn’t novel.
So then, was it refreshing meeting Lauren?
Yes. We actually started dating in September of 2023 after connecting through mutual friends. And look, we hit it off! We had some unique first dates! We went to a car show and then went to a second date at a comedy club. She was very attractive. Family was super important to her. I mean, there were just boxes she was checking! She was into fitness. She was a teacher. All things that you kind of look for, or at least I was looking for, at that point.
What did you find magnetic about Lauren then and now?
If anything has survived the tunnel of time, it’s this: she was so articulate and just a great communicator. You could tell she really worked on herself. And so she asked very direct questions about what had gone wrong in past relationships and what I was looking for. I just thought that was very attractive, her ability to communicate and be pretty upfront. And then what’s surprising is that she really didn’t have a big social media presence, which I also found very, very attractive. So, when, like a month into dating, she tells me “I have signed up for Love Is Blind,” I was just kind of taken aback because that wasn’t the vibe that I ever would have expected from her.
Love Is Blind
I’d think any young single casually dating would try the show. Why didn’t you consider?
I was actually approached three or four times – like a lot of single guys in Minneapolis – but reality TV just wasn’t for me. I prefer to meet people more naturally, whether through mutual friends or dating apps. I get why some people give it a shot, but for me, I just didn’t see it as the right path to finding a real connection.
So, how did you find out Lauren was selected?
We kept dating throughout October. We spent more time together, cooking meals at each other’s places and stuff like that. Then around early November, Lauren told me she was a finalist, but not yet selected. She explained how the process worked. We made a joke about it. I told her I understood her but wasn’t in a position to say “no” to her participation—we had only been dating for a short time. We agreed to put the conversation on the back burner and continue seeing each other casually.
Why not wash your hands and assume this was over? After all, a girl you were dating was about to join a show –not for a date, but for a husband.
We hedged our bet that she wouldn’t make it…
But she did make it. And she was matched with a potential husband whom you’re familiar with. Tell us how you know Dave.
We had a mutual friend from college. And through that friend, I met Dave a handful of times, like at a big tailgate party or at our mutual friend’s place. Everything I know about Dave is that he’s a good guy, pretty popular. I never had any issues with him. He never did anything wrong to me and seemed like a nice dude.
At some point, this guy you know and this girl you’re dating both ended up moving in, as a couple, to your apartment building.
Three weeks before they moved in, Lauren and I were still together. I saw her two days before she left for the show. Even as she’s on the bus going to production with the other cast members, she’s telling me we’ll see each other in three weeks. This whole thing was just kind of like a big joke! That’s how we treated it. Three weeks later –and the whole time we had no contact, they don’t have their cell phones– they literally show up at my apartment building at the same exact time I’m showing back up from a ski trip. There were camera crews in the lobby as I’m coming in.
What was your first thought?
I’m like what are the odds that they are engaged and that they’re moving into my apartment? What is this? I felt overwhelmed.
Do you think production did this on purpose?
No, I don’t think it was intentional. Minneapolis only has a certain amount of nice apartment complexes. But what was intentional was keeping them there. They could have relocated them if my presence was being such a burden on them.
Even if production didn’t know where you lived, Lauren did.
From what I understand, they don’t know where they’re living until they’re literally dropped off at the door. So, what she told me in conversation after filming ended is when they get dropped off at that door she’s like “I’ve been spending the last five months hanging out with you at this building! But I have to pretend to be happy and excited.” So, it ate at her too.
Stressful! But from a production standpoint, it almost guarantees you’re part of the show, doesn’t it?
Oh absolutely! I mean, as you watch the show, you see Dave and Lauren put together the pieces that I’m the guy that she was seeing and Dave knows who I am. Keep in mind that everything that those two talk about is very purposeful, because the cameras aren’t on them 24/7. Producers want you to bring up certain conversations in front of the camera. This is why I’m being talked about a third of the entire season. When they identified me, production could have at least reached out in a way that wasn’t trying to get me on the show.
Hold on! A chance to be on the show seems like an opportunity to speak your truth and take control of your narrative! Why not do it?
Absolutely not! That gives control to Netflix and Kinetic Production to potentially make you look like an absolute psycho ex-boyfriend. Staying off-camera was the best way to ensure I had control over my own story. I’m in the position of not having signed an NDA. I’m in the position of not having some contract controlling what I say.
So, you avoided being on the show. But since its release, you’ve been labeled as a clout chaser.
When Lauren and Dave moved in, production approached me in person asking me to appear on the show. My guess was like, you know, to set up a confrontation or having some sort of sidebar conversation. As soon as they knew that I wasn’t going to play their game, it was like “OK, well then let’s silence him by feeding the cast and Lauren’s friends the lines of ‘he just wants to be on TV.’” That put me in a difficult position: if I speak, that means I wanted attention or clout or whatever the Internet phrase is. If I stay quiet, I just allow other people to write my truth.
Photo courtesy Dan Nides.
Don’t you think the Love is Blind mock poster you posted on Instagram may have added fuel to that attention-seeking narrative?
Absolutely. But I posted it because humor is how I process things. I wanted to take control of my own narrative in a way that felt authentic to me, rather than let reality TV producers define it. I wasn’t going to be the convenient plot device –a nameless, faceless character in someone else’s script. This was never about seeking the spotlight– it was about making sure someone else didn’t tell my story for me.
Resilience, creativity, and humor helped me navigate an absurd situation. I knew I could handle scrutiny, and when I saw the trailer, I knew exactly what was coming. The internet thrives on speculation, and within days, Reddit had doxxed me after the trailer was released. At that point, I had two choices: let strangers dictate my story or take control of my own narrative. I chose the latter.
What’s been the aftermath in your real life?
At the time this was being produced, I eventually moved out of my apartment building, because everything I seemed to do –everywhere I seemed to go– I was either running into them or I was running into someone from production. I just knew that my presence was going to be misconstrued.
When my name first got out, it was overwhelming. But I realized that how I responded would define this moment for me. Instead of getting defensive or lashing out, I leaned into my values, my friendships, and my sense of humor to get through it. I was raised to take whatever life throws at me—good, bad, or absolutely ridiculous—and turn it into something worthwhile. There’s been an overwhelming number of positives that have come out of this, particularly as it relates to my fitness lifestyle.
Looking back, do you view any of the backlash was in fact slut shaming towards Lauren?
Yes, which is what Netflix manufactured for public debate. Lauren –and women in general– should be free to act and do as they please. She didn’t do anything wrong. She was upfront about going on the show and we tried to keep things from getting serious. A woman’s past is her past, and it’s up to her to decide what she’s ready for. But reality TV isn’t about nuance. It’s about manufacturing storylines that force audiences to take sides. They framed this as a moral debate: Was Lauren wrong for being with someone before filming, or was Dave justified in feeling like it disrespected the ‘seriousness’ of marriage? In reality, Dave was likely just struggling to make sense of what was truthful and what was just noise. I was there to support Lauren through it all –I had her back, even providing her with a clear text message she could have shown Dave to bring clarity to the situation. At the end of the day, the show needed drama, and everyone played the role that best served their arc –whether to justify, deflect, or control how they were perceived. But real life isn’t about picking a side. It’s messy, complicated, and rarely fits into a neatly edited narrative.
Where are you today?
I am in a great spot! Keep in mind this was all filmed over a year ago – I’ve been over this for a while. I made the decision to move to Chicago for a fresh start, away from the noise, and to focus on my career and personal growth. I’ve been busy rebuilding my community, focused on health and fitness, and have been dating.
I credit my outlook and where I am right now [metaphorically] on my resiliency. I’ve always believed in seeking out challenges before they find me. Pushing my limits –physically and mentally– has been a constant in my life. Competing at some of the highest levels of sports has taught me discipline, how to embrace discomfort, endure, and how to thrive under pressure. That mindset carries over into every part of my life. Becoming a lawyer refined those skills, forcing me to navigate chaos, stay focused, and make clear decisions when the stakes were high. By voluntarily stepping into hard situations, I built the resilience to handle the ones I didn’t choose. I built the foundation to handle this Love is Blind noise years ago.
If you were to find yourself in Dave’s position and fall in love with a girl who just left a situation with a mutual friend, what would you do?
Her past is her past. I’d be focused on our future and how to love and build and nurture our relationship. I’d also probably just talk to the guy if I knew him to clear up any uncertainty.
Follow updates from Dan Nides on Instagram @gymtanlaw
All episodes from Season 8, including the Reunion, currently available on Netflix.
